Sunday, July 27, 2008

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I'm a jerk. After my 20th birthday party, I fell off the face of this comic. I was chasing the band pictured above and because of them I am placing this webcomic concept on hiatus. I have taken charge of It's going to be a large, time-consuming project trying to remodel Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin's main go-to band site. However, my friend and I are happy enough to volunteer our time for it. It should be a pretty beneficial project and I hope it ends in good results.

This image was inspired by Don Hertzfeldt's 'Billy's Balloon' animation

Love, Rocky

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Anonymous Harassment, Part 2

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I mean really, if you have the basic information, why waste time harassing someone you do not like when you can get strangers to willingly volunteer? Not only are all my methods unconventional, but some are also practical.

Love, Rocky

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Anonymous Harassment, Part 1

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Heh, fashionable late once more. I promise the next one will be promptly up on Saturday morning. I got caught up in New York City for the weekend, exploring Brooklyn for a concert featuring Harry and the Potters, Math the Band, and Uncle Monsterface.  I'll hook you guys up with some mp3 sample links tomorrow, my internet is rather flaky.

I also had the honour of witnessing Manhattan's gay pride parade that march from Midtown to Greenwich Village. There was a lot of of homosexuality in the air, but I came out of it still liking boys thankfully. But yea, the trip was followed by the initiation of retiring from my teenage years yesterday. Sigh, I'm getting a bit old, eventually I'll have to start acting mature and tone down my murderous wit.

Love, Rocky

P.S. Be careful who you give your phone number out to.

I'm Sorry But Your Princess Is In Another Castle by Uncle Monsterface

Felix Felicis by Harry and the Potters

The Water Cycle by Math the Band

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Set, Match, Run

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Wow, sorry for the delay. Not that it matters, I'm sure. I've been caught up in the weekend and I have no excuse really, since this comic was initially the first one that inspired the series and was already prepped for posting a month ago. But yeah, every person I focus on when I am angry usually is provided with their own special, yet simple death. Ben dawned the realization on me that it simply is just too easy to kill someone  who is into kinky sex. Man, there are so many ways to even make it look like an accident. Hehe.

Other than working and socializing, I have recently joined the Lost bandwagon. A week's worth of television and I've yet to finish all damn four seasons. A great show nonetheless, I even sacrificed my habitual daily show/colbert report this past week since I was so addicted to the plotline.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Fighting Fire With Water

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I don't want to come off as a sexist bitch, however, I am quite certain it is too late for that. I have a lot of great guy friends who I am lucky enough to have. It's just guys specifically like Ben I often target. It is just something about how bothersome it is for a girl to sleep around and be considered a slut and when a man does it, he's getting high-fived by the guys in the high school locker room. Now, I have been well out of high school, but the minds of most college students still seem to happily reside there. The hangover from whatever weekly party that occurs on campus also comes with the whispered bragging about how lucky they got that night. Getting laid is like a sport and I sometimes wonder if my classmates are actually keeping score. They should make a facebook application for it or something.

Anyways... I admit, sometimes girls can be a little easy. It is not because they are dumb, but simply blind. Blind to what they want to believe in and the lies our subject tells. Being 'easy' is a simple word to insult a multiple of factors people like Ben could care less to take into account. I was easy and I built my whole life trying to avoid that statement, but I became it. I never was easy enough to the point where he had much to brag about to his friends the next day. But let's turn the tables now, because I think Ben is way too easy. Women may think too much with their hearts, but Ben thinks too much with his penis. It is a dangerous concoction of sexual drive and an invincible concept that will place Ben in some adventurous situations that may not be as satisfying as he thinks.

In other news, I saw The Incredible Hulk the other night. Fantastic movie. Of course, the movie did not have much of a bar to jump after Ang Lee's comic book disgrace. However, I may speak from a bias angle since I favor Edward Norton in more ways than one in this film.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Testing Gravity

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Although, I must admit, for a guy who just wants to use girls, at least he tried to be a gentleman.

Weezer's Self-Titled Red Album has been this week's highlight of music blogger bashing (unless these bloggers got ahold of the leaked version the week before) Everyone and their mom hates it. I feel kind of bad. I have been following Weezer since I was in middle school. When I listen to the Red Album, I'm not quite sure how to feel. As a longtime fan, I feel this forced need to hate it. But as this fan, I feel I like it because it is Weezer. The Red Album's tracks bear a similarity to their CD cover; an awkward spinoff from something I once knew. Listening to the Red Album alone, without the knowledge of Weezer's previous work, I believe this album is pretty okay. Go ahead, comment below about how much you want me to die and how disgraceful of a fan I am, whatever.

I'm not a music blogger and I do not intend to be, so I am not going to sit here and detail every track for you. What I will say is this: The Red Album may not be great, but it is a mile ahead of Make Believe and I was not too much of a fan of Maladroit either. So you can go on now and rant about how much it sucks, but I don't think it's as bad as everyone else is making it out to be.

At least Pork and Beans is 99.9% better as the album's first single in comparison to Beverly Hills for Make Believe. Ugh.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Safety First

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And, yes, I do always carry mace on all of my dates. (However, the can I carry is more subtle)

Now, I am certainly not one with much romantical tact and I hope some day that my off-color remarks will make a better first impression than they most likely did here. Every purse I own is a black hole and locating the whereabouts of my wallet always requires a little bit of dissecting. At least I cleaned out my purse that morning. Since I was attending a Colbert Report television taping earlier in the day, I knew it would be best to leave my knife, gun, knitting needles, and taser at home...

For accuracy, I replicated the exact shirt I wore. (It looks less obnoxious in real life, I promise.) 

P.S. I actually updated on time for this Saturday. Awesome! Let's see if I can keep this up and hopefully start diving into some better material soon!

Friday, May 23, 2008


Ah, the joys of miscommunication that I am sure the majority of us suffer often. People, myself included, are guilty of assuming everyone else thinks and wants the same things we want. I feel most of my problems come down to being so caught up in what I want, that I forget other people have a say in the situation as well.

Anyways, this comic... seeing as this is the first post, I will give a nice background and disclaimer. First of all, this comic does not have a set update period yet, however, I am looking into biweekly, every Saturday. Just check back whenever you're bored. Secondly, this is going to have a bit of a slow start. Sorry, today's is not that funny. The introduction stuff is just like that sometimes. I felt that way about the first Lord of the Rings, but you need that first installment to set up all the awesomeness that is to come in the next two stories. I'm not making any promises, except for dry, dry humor mixed subtly with murder and other whimsical thoughts I've conjured while trying to stay awake in history class.

I feel the need to point out this is an exaggerated event of a past encounter I have had. I figured to use his image since it is rather generic and he was the first oceanographer* I have ever been involved with. As for that bit about the money, I had been living briefly in Baltimore at the time and he was someone I met in New York City. So yea, we were buddy buddy online and I eventually went up a few times to see him again, blah, blah. Clearly we both had a different idea where this was going. It was the classic battle between Relationship and Friends With Benefits. But this is not about him, this is about all the guys or girls like him, the ones who are sly and persuasive and manipulative and selfish. The ones my friends keep me late up at night on the phone and on the computer yelling or crying to me about. The ones who get away with treating good people like shit because we will not do a damn thing about it. I just get so frustrated at times, I have to draw myself shooting a violin through their window because I can't afford to buy one and actually do it.


P.S. I hope he never sees this, knowing his image was valuable enough to be drawn and distributed via internet by one of his empty hookups is the last thing his ego needs.

*For more about oceanographers, have a listen to this fantastic song: